In this situation, therapy serves as a training field and a cushion at the same time. This training field would be a place where the child can try new behaviors and new skills without a pressing need to fit into his mother’s, his father’s, or their new families’ agendas; this is precisely the type of pressure children often experience in divorced families, since they feel they need to be someone’s ally at all times.
In addition, these children often appear to be more mature and more socially attuned compared to kids who did not go through a harsh family turmoil. What at first glance may look like an advantage turns out to be a curse for the same individuals later in life. As children, they were too busy reading adults in an attempt to foresee what may be coming their way in an unpredictable situation. Therefore, many of them did not have a chance to develop a sense of their own individuality, and, as a result, they may live according to somebody else’s script. In therapy, these children get a chance to explore and develop their personal needs and proclivities, thus forming a functioning and independent personality structure.