At an early point in my professional career, I used to work with people who were newly assigned to a job that required them to be responsible for the safety of a large number of people. The job was also physically and emotionally challenging, and included a complicated set of managerial tasks. Not surprisingly, many of them had difficulties adjusting to this job. My role in this scenario was to diagnose and prevent burn-outs. All of those professionals mentioned that, by far, it was the most difficult job they had ever done . However, those of them who also were parents told me that it was the second hardest position AFTER parenting. Why would those pilots and crew captains of intercontinental flights make such a comparison? As a parent myself and as someone who works closely with parents, I can tell you that the question is purely rhetorical. Parents are just like pilots in so many ways. Parents have to know their destination and how to get there, and they have to adjust quickly and effectively to ever-changing circumstances. They have to maintain the spirit of their crew while keeping an eye on the dashboard (a.k.a. the family budget), and they, not the teachers or physicians, are ultimately responsible for the lives and well-being of their children. This is because, at the end of the day, every decision rests on their shoulders.
For some people, parenting takes a significant toll. After all, one of the frequent complaints I hear from the most sophisticated and self-reflective parents is about loss of their sense of identity; a loss of themselves. “I know that I am supposed to become enriched by my [parenting] experience, but I feel like I am losing myself. I can hardly recognize that yelling, ill-tempered guy I’ve become…Where is my sense of humor? …I am able to keep my cool at work… I become somebody else when I am at home with them,” a father of two teenagers once told me. Parenting is incredibly challenging; it brings out the absolutely best and worst in people, and once you have started, you are never done. That is why I offer parental counseling, and do it in many forms: individual and group counseling, ongoing and crisis counseling, not to mention occasional tune-ups for parents who may not need continuing support but could definitely use it when they feel they are facing an issue that will potentially bring on a significant problem.
Одна из форм консультирования проводится нами на дому. Как мы все знаем, многие проблемы начинаются, когда дети маленькие. Если вы возьмете маленького ребенка с собой на нашу сессию, взаимодействие между родителем и ребенком будет не очень естественным и, соответственно, не очень информативным с точки зрения диагностики. Вот почему мы посещаем некоторые семьи на дому, когда есть необходимость доступа к конкретным измерениям тонких отношений между очень маленьким ребенком и родителем. Таким образом, наши рекомендации относительно краеугольных камней будущего развития: режим, порядок действий, окружающая обстановка и иные детали будут очень конкретными и адаптированными к конкретной семье.
